Depression is already heavy when it’s your own. It’s a shadow that follows you into every corner, a quiet voice that tells you you’re not enough, that you’re a burden, that you should just pull away. Now imagine both people in a relationship carrying that same shadow—trying to love one another while fighting their own battles inside.

That’s where my fiancée and I find ourselves sometimes. We both struggle with depression, and while we love each other deeply, there are days when it feels like we’re speaking through fog.

When one of us is down, the other wants to help—but depression doesn’t always make that easy. It’s not as simple as cheering each other up or offering comfort. Sometimes, one of us doesn’t have the energy to speak. Sometimes we both withdraw at the same time, and that distance can feel endless. It’s never about love fading—it’s about the weight we both carry at once.

We’ve learned that communication becomes everything, even when it’s hard. Saying “I’m not okay today” is better than silence. Letting the other person know “It’s not you, I just need time” can make a world of difference. Because when both people are struggling, assumptions can be dangerous. It’s easy to think your partner is tired of you, when really they’re just tired of themselves.

There are days where it feels like we’re holding each other together with frayed strings. But there are also days of laughter, small victories, and soft reminders that we’re in this together. Depression tries to isolate—it feeds on loneliness—but love, even a tired kind of love, has a way of fighting back.

We’ve had to learn patience. We’ve had to learn that not every bad day means the relationship is falling apart. Sometimes it’s just a storm passing through both of us at once. The important thing is to keep reaching for each other through the rain.

If you’re in a relationship where both of you are struggling, know this: it’s okay if it’s hard. It’s okay if you both need space sometimes. What matters is that you keep choosing to come back—to talk, to try, to believe that even broken people can build something beautiful together.

Love doesn’t fix depression. But love, when it’s patient and honest, can help carry the weight. And even on our darkest days, that’s something worth holding on to.